9 Helpful Tips for Parents in Raising Children

Every parent dreams of raising a healthy, happy, and harmoniously developed child. Along the way, he encounters obstacles and unanswered questions. Or, on the contrary, there are too many answers and it is not clear which one is correct. It remains to rely on common sense and expert opinion. We chose useful tips from books based on the achievements of science and practice, which will be a good help for parents.

Let children play more often

Since 1955, the amount of time children spend playing has been decreasing, but at the same time, they have increased levels of anxiety, more depression, a sense of helplessness, and the same time childish narcissism and reduced empathy. Bad statistic. But it is in the power of adults, each of us, to give your child what he needs for harmonious development. The game in this sense is necessary as air.

Why does shortening play time lead to emotional and social disturbances? Play is a natural way to teach children how to solve their problems, control desires, manage emotions, look at a problem from different points of view, discuss disagreements, and communicate with each other as equals. There is no other way to master these skills. That is why it is so important that the child spends a lot of time playing.

Stimulate curiosity

Children have an innate tendency to explore the world, which must be supported. One way to do this is to show all possible, most diverse options for solving problems. Experiments confirm this idea: if a child is immediately shown a single function of a toy during the game, he will come to the conclusion that it can’t do anything else. But when the toy was given to the child “at the mercy”, they guessed to use it in different ways, not in one way.

Allow your child to be friends with elders

In mixed age groups, young children have the opportunity to do things that would be too difficult or dangerous to do on their own or with a peer group. They can also learn something just by watching older guys and listening to their conversations. The older ones emotionally support the younger ones and take better care of them than their peers.

In the 1930s, the Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky coined the term “zone of proximal development.” It means an activity that the child is not able to do alone or with peers, but can do with the help of more experienced people. Vygotsky assumed that children acquire new skills and develop thinking by interacting with others in their zone of proximal development.

Moreover, when he is over sixty, dad lives in the same mode, only now he wakes up at four in the morning (or even earlier). He participates in all the important moments in the life of his grandchildren and still never misses my competitions. 

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Training and competition went against his main goals as a family man and a professional. But as someone who strives to live life to the fullest and succeed in everything, he was determined to make it all work together somehow. And he came up with it. Dad knew the best time to work was early in the morning. While other people were sleeping or slowly rocking before the start of the working day, dad was already working. Waking up every morning no later than 4:30, dad had time to go to the office to work, then go for a lunch run, come back to work for a few hours, stop at the bike trail and ride a mountain bike on the way home and come home early enough to spend time with us and attend all of our extracurricular activities.

What is the meaning of this rule? As parents, you must be firm in your decisions

In short, if you make a decision in advance, then when the time comes to act, your thoughts will no longer distract by whether you want to do it or not. Do not take this rule literally; getting up at 4:30 in the morning is just an example of the strong will you need to have in order to succeed.

A firm inner commitment—to parents, family, and relationships (or a workout program and a project at work)—is the most important thing you can do in life. This is where it all starts. And you are setting a good example for your children.

Teach your kids the difference between good and bad.

If we get the reward of the bad deed, then the young brain may identify it as beneficial in terms of the individual’s survival. Moreover, if a child gets support when being aggressive but not when he wants to interact, his brain can easily remember that aggression is good for his survival.

If a baby receives a reward when he is sick and loses it when he recovers, he forms appropriate long-term bonds.

The brain does not learn from parenting experts or etiquette textbooks. He learns on the basis of changes in the content of certain neurochemical substances in it. 

Let your kids feel happy more often

Happy moments in the past create special connections between neurons that are ready to produce “happiness hormones” the next time you experience similar positive feelings. In other words, the more often your child feels happiness and joy, the easier it will be for him in adulthood.

For example, a child who is highly respected by his parents because he is good with computers develops neural connections that allow him to expect greater joy when giving such help to other people. He repeats his actions, and new neural pathways for happiness appear in his nervous system.

Hug your kids more often

Touching and hugging is not someone’s whim. There is a clear physiological basis that makes both adults and children happy when they show affection for each other. 

Having children also causes a significant surge of oxytocin. And for both parents and children. Raising other people’s children also increases oxytocin levels.

Oxytocin gives us the pleasure of being calm around those we trust. This is not a conscious decision, but rather a physical sense of security. Neural pathways formed with the participation of oxytocin occur throughout our lives. And it is very important to form them in childhood so that the child often feels the joy of life.

Let go of the idea that you are in control of your child’s future

If we ourselves value freedom and are responsible for our actions, then we must respect the right of the child to independently pave his life path. Our aspirations cannot become the aspirations of a child, and vice versa. The search for one’s own course begins at an early age.

All loving and caring parents care about the future of their children, so it’s hard for them not to try to control them. But any attempt made under control will not lead to the goal. When we try to determine the fate of a child, we do not give him control over his life and learn from his own mistakes.

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